HOW TO ALWAYS BE PRESENT
IN YOUR CHILD’S LIFE
When I get bogged down I have to ask myself simply, “ Have I been present in my child’s life today? Or lately?”
It is a hard pill to swallow if you want to be brutally honest with yourself.
We get caught up with work, paying bills, setting goals, working towards those goals, our health, community and church activities. You name it!
And with all the hustle and bustle of LIFE, we forgot the very thing that we prayed for and sacrificed for needs us the very most.
We forgot to be present in our children’s life. We are so busy creating this lifestyle for them that we forgot that they really only needed was US.
When I get off track, too busy in life and I feel like I have not touched base with them for a minute. Working in these five ways to manage life and making sure to be present helps more ways than imagined.
Stop and Listen
I can not tell you how many times my children began talking when I am busy doing something. I could be just listening to the news, editing a video, writing a blog post, filling out important paperwork and they start to babble about something.
Having teenagers now I know how important to hold onto those moments when they want to talk.
I quickly remember as a child I wanted my parents to hear me. To Really Hear What I Am Saying!
That is when I stop and listen to my kiddos. They want to be heard just like everyone else and I certainly do not want to miss their verbal thoughts.
Listen to What they Enjoy
I know my boys are really into video games!
It certainly is not my favorite thing to do in the world. But there are certain games I do get a kick out of playing. I know it would not kill me to spend a little time with them and play a few video games with them.
Sitting down with them and playing these games was fun and it lets them know that I cared enough to show an interest in what they liked to do. I know that I love when someone that is close to me shows an interest in what I like to do and it means a lot to me. And children….especially our children are the same way!
Go On Dates
Going on mini dates periodically with your child helps you put your sole focus on one child at a time. Ask them where they would like to go for the day or part of the day.
When it is one child at a time it gives the child a chance for them to have one on one time with you and they can have your total undivided attention without distractions.
Teaching Them About Faith
Whether it is taking them to church, reading them the Bible, praying together as a family every little bit counts when teaching your child about the Lord. This is the most precious and valuable things that a parent can do.
Knowing the Lord, how to pray and having a relationship with him is something that your child would be forever grateful for.
I did not know why we would go to church so much or the relationship that I saw that my parents had with God, but as I grew older I realized that relationship was truly necessary for life.
Knowing how to get a prayer through and having a closeness with the Lord helped because of my parents sharing what they knew and faith they had in God. It helps me to deal with whatever life situations that may come my way.
Just Show Up
Just being there for your child means everything to them. When they have a special moment in school, eating lunch with them, going to there games, activities means everything to a child. Showing up to be present is easy as showing up! It sounds easier than it actually is.
Work gets in the way and our priorities shift and we forget what really matters is just being there for our children. Yes, we have bills to pay and promotions to reach! But what does it all matter if we are not present in their lives. We look up and around and they have grown up before our eyes. We can not get those moments back no matter how hard we try!
I still remember how my grandmothers came 2 hours out there the way to Grandparents Day (it was always around Thanksgiving) to have that special lunch with me at school. I still cherish that to this day! Especially when they would show up and I was not quite sure if they would come. Now that I have loss my Grandmothers and as an adult, I realize that they stopped what they were doing in their busy lives to be present in mine.
That meant everything to me! Even if they could not make it, but because they did it placed an imprint on my life. That I will make sure to show up for my children and my grandchildren because it is important for me, them and teaching them all at the same time.
Today our world moves at a fast and rapid pace! We go to one thing and to the next without seizing the moment. We are constantly chasing our hopes and dreams and forgetting our children are our hopes and dreams. And they are standing right in front us!
Talking, asking questions… but are we actively listening?!?!
Are we not listening to their interested or just forcing ours on them?
Are we not teaching them the foundations of Faith and God?
Are we not spending that one on one time with each one of them without distractions?
Are we not even showing up for them, only when there is a conference at school?
Being present in a child’s life makes a lasting impression that will they will carry with them for a lifetime. It affects their future behavior with their family, including their future family, peers, work relationships and how they interact with the world. Being a little more present in there live just only takes a little more effort in our everyday bustle. Making sure we make memories together and hug each other a little tighter and longer along the way.