My Spouse Forgot My Gift | What To Do

Has your spouse forgotten about a special day? Maybe they remembered but did not give you a gift? I am sure this has happened to some of us. My Spouse Forgot My Gift! Now, what to do! It may not be intentional! Funds may have been low and an emergency popped up and life happens. It certainly is not the end of the world but we all know it is the thought that counts. Let me share with you how I handled it when my spouse forgot my gift what to do.

Know Their Personality

The first and obvious thing is to know their personality. Their personality has a lot to do with why they may have forgotten or if they simply did not gift you for that particular milestone (ex. Anniversary, Birthday or etc.).

My husband I know is a little forgetful. It has been times he has misplaced his wallet, a paycheck (I still remember digging through the trash, LOL!) and I’m sure other things.

So I know… that it is just him. Bae is smart as a whip! He just needs some reminders of dates and special occasions every once in a while. Also working crazy hours does not help too much! With all of that into play, I know that subtle hints throughout the week or month work well with him.

• You may want to try adding important highlights and events to a command center, calendar or dry erase board for them to see throughout the day/week.
• The use of a planner (this one is his favorite)
• Use of an app on their phone  (He likes to use Google Calendar)
• Weekly or Monthly family meetings

Know His Love Language

For my husband, he works hard! Too hard! He certainly reminds me of my Daddy (they say you will marry someone that is like your parent, certainly the truth!). For him paying the bills, fixing something, finding a movie on Netflix to watch together, simple conversation, doing some chores is how he may show his love.

For myself taking me to dinner, buying me something, affection, cleaning the house, spending time together is my love language.

Knowing that about each other will solve a world of issues! Know their love language. Know what makes them feel special and loved.

If you can not figure it out, just simply ask! What makes you happy? What would you like for us to do together?

Pray About It!

When my marriage was brand new (and still today) I use to go downstairs to our bathroom and pray. Everything was so new to the both of us and that is all I knew to do was to pray. Prayer is something that you should always keep in your relationship.

If you need clarity on something, need to see it from his point of view or yours just pray on it. Many of times after prayer I saw a shift in the situation right away (overnight) and there were other times it took a little while.

Although with gifting or just simply remembering something special is truly just about the thought. We all know that! But if it hurts because you feel the thought is not there then just pray about it.

The power of prayer is AMAZING!

Talk It Out

Something that seems so easy to do gets harder and harder the longer you been together. Or it may have always been difficult. Maybe you’re afraid that the other one may judge you? Maybe you do not want to look like the sensitive one in the relationship? Are you just plain stubborn?

For me, it was the last one as years went on. I expected my husband to be able to read my mind and I was left disappointed. If I never told him what I liked or where to go how would he know. Now some men are more in tuned or listen to their spouses. It may not be that he is not totally listening.  Your spouse could be just tired, stressed from work or whatever.

Find some time when your emotions are not high. He is not tired maybe on his next day off and talk about how you felt about the situation. What you expected and what does he expect?

My hubby does not expect too much so that tells you right there (which is a great thing most of the time, LOL!)

Show Him How You Want To Be Treated

My husband does not ask for too much which makes gifting for him a little tougher but easier at the same. I always try to do for him what I may what him to do for me. Although I listen to little things he may say through conversation what he may like. If you two have different love languages this is always a little tricky and that is when communication comes in to play.

Your spouse will eventually start to notice what you have done for them and doing for them on the regular. (It may be as simple as calling while they are at the store if you need anything or something huge as a surprise birthday party or vacation.)   It may take some time, but they will notice!

So, show that love!

Reflect On What They Have Done

Your spouses love language may be totally different from yours, so it is important to reflect on what they have done for you recently. They may have just put brand new tires on your car (used ones are awesome too!), repaired your car, picked the kids up, done baskets of laundry or simply worked overtime.

When I reflect on all of the things that my spouse has done and continues to do for me, it starts to bring me to tears. I realized that many of those things were priceless! His Love, His Faithfulness, His Honesty…..was priceless.

Think of all of those things that are intangible and tangible. Those things a price or gift does not even hold a candle too. Obviously, that shows they are always keeping you in their thoughts!

Knowing The Why’s

Knowing the underlining reason for there actions are important. They may not realize how it comes off to their spouse. Knowing the why and communicating with each other puts it all in perspective for one another.

My husband had a few bad experiences where he went all out for a past girlfriend (I know that was years ago…I know!) and she just talked junk about it. I remember this story that he told me years ago but for some reason now he forgot all the details (which is a good thing, LOL!). Knowing that even that it was years ago, it left a scar. Always showing him regardless of what it is that I am grateful and thankful for all of his sweet gestures. Sometimes those scars can leave you from not putting in much effort going forward.

Knowing he’s why does not give him a pass. But it does give me an understanding of how he may feel if  I gave him the same reaction that she gave him. We all have scars or wounds that rear their ugly heads. Everyone has them once and while in the past. Knowing his why’s, helps me recognize mine.

Get Dolled Up

Getting all dolled up always makes me feel better! Even if we are do not have plans or just getting ready just in case we may go out (for Birthday, Mother’s Day, Anniversary or etc.). If I see that he may not have anything planned, I try to have a backup plan some of the time. If your spouse is not a planner usually the other one is (I do try to lay back a little to see) am already dressed up then I know we are doing something or going somewhere. It just makes me feel better and we are headed out the door!

Purchase Your Own Gift

This one I may lose you on! LOL!

If I did not receive a gift for any of the reasons above (besides not having the funds) I treat myself. Whether it is a pedicure, new outfit, handbag or something on my wishlist I will gift myself. It does not have to be big but something that reminds myself that I am appreciated.

Recently, I did not receive anything for Mother’s Day from my spouse (which inspired me to write this post). I am sure it was because we all went out to dinner and he paid for the entire table (it was ten of us). This would have been one of those times I honestly would have taken full advantage of gifting myself.

Why Not?!?! I work my tail off for my family! But that is what a Mother Does!

I did not gift myself this time, maybe next time…who knows!

It certainly is not about the gift and things. It is about showing the love, the thought, and the appreciation. Which goes a long way!

Nevertheless reflecting on what your spouse has done or the times you treated yourself in the past for no reason (LOL!) puts in all in perspective.

Furthermore, it is so easy to get caught up in our feelings. Whether we were scrolling through Facebook or Instagram, have this made up an image in our heads or just simply feeling unappreciated.

Everyone is different! Their spouses are different and that is surely why you married them, Right?!?!

Honestly, you probably knew this before you even married them (something I could hear my Grandmother say, LOL!). Because you are the planner and they may not which makes you two the perfect fit and knowing the reasons and the whys make this After The Ring Life a little smoother.